


Out of Mind

by Lirendil



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Complete, Conflict, F/F, Happy endings are in the eye of the beholder, that about sums it up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-08 04:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14686026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lirendil/pseuds/Lirendil
Summary: Tracer and Widowmaker team up for a mission against a rising enemy that Overwatch and Talon share. On the surface, it's an unprecedented success, but the truth might be a little more complicated than that. The biggest dangers, after all, are those that lie within.





	1. Chapter 1

“Another day, another unexplained explosion in the south of Spain.” Lena smirked as she stepped off the plane onto the landing pad, pushing back her goggles to the top of her head. Gibraltar had become the temporary base of operations for the new fledgling Overwatch - even if it was still understaffed and full of storage. The biggest difference was the unorthodox partnership leaving them with their current additional team member.

Widowmaker stepped down from the craft in turn, swinging her rifle atop her shoulder as she fell into step with Lena who headed towards the medical bay. “It had better stay that way or it'll be a disaster.” She neither sounded nor looked especially impressed.

“They won't know it was us - they never do,” Lena pointed out confidently. “Summit should be a breeze now.” Widowmaker didn’t reply. “Come on, we made it out. No harm done.”

Widowmaker shot her a cold glance and Lena suddenly decided a bit of silence might not be a bad idea.

The latest joint mission had led them to a scientific base run by a relatively new clandestine organization on the international scene - one with plenty of both money and expertise. While Overwatch and Talon remained adversaries, they had put their enmity on the backburner in favor of tackling this wildcard, and the base rumored to house mind-altering technology was their latest hit. Widowmaker wasn’t wrong - if the scheduled meeting between their organizations did go awry, it could spell chaos for the already tenuous relationship.

Angela looked up as the two strode into the clinic. “Good to see you both back. How did it go?”

Widowmaker was quiet, going straight to an examination chair.

Lena’s gaze lingered on Widowmaker the slightest moment before she flashed Angela a smile. “Swimmingly. Nothing’s making it out of that base.”

“Good to hear.” Angela walked to Widowmaker, taking vitals - for as much as they were worth with her. When Widowmaker was finished, she rose and Lena took her spot, given the same treatment. “Alright, you both seem fine,” Angela finally announced. “Did you retrieve any of the medical research they were doing?”

Widowmaker held out a tiny memory chip. “This is what we were able to extract.”

“Excellent.” Angela took it with a satisfied nod. “I’ll start taking a look at it. You can head down to Winston now, he's expecting you for the debrief.”

“Aye aye.” Lena led the way out with a loose salute.

The pair now set off towards the other end of base where Winston was still holed up with Athena. His solitude had extended for quite some time as it hadn't been easy getting some of the former agents to join him, both logistically and mentally. Plenty had misgivings given the risks of repeating Overwatch’s past mistakes, but Winston had pointed out the rising threats and Lena had been the first to passionately speak out in favor of the endeavor.

Of course, any black and white thinking had had to be compromised with this most recent partnership, but Lena found she was minding the current agreement less and less. In a few days, the two organizations’ leaders would determine whether to extend the collaboration, but as far as Lena was concerned, her missions with Widowmaker could only be considered a success.

“Winston’ll be chuffed enough to confirm the mission results,” Lena mused brightly to fill the growing silence. Widowmaker wasn’t usually talkative post-mission, but it was making Lena uncomfortable today. “Whatever happens, we won’t have to worry about anything going on in that base anymore. Wonder how the higher-ups will feel when they find out their precious research went up in flames.”

“Good riddance.”

“Yeah, I'm sure Talon would love to be the only one with brainwashing tech.” Lena stumbled as she felt a smack on the back of her head. “Oi! You know it's true.”

“I don't need you judging me.”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “It's not you I'm judging.”

“Well then I don't need your pity. Stop trying to be a hero, it's embarrassing.”

“You're the one who just -”

“Hello, Winston.” Widowmaker’s voice sounded long-suffering as she walked into the conference room they had finally reached.

“Welcome back.” Winston watched them both walk in and sit down on opposite sides of the table. “What's the verdict?”

“Pretty much what we told you over comms,” Lena replied. “We got in, nicked the data, planted the bomb, got out right before the place blew.” She went through some more of the specifics but the job had been rather straightforward.

Winston looked surprised when she finished. “That easy?”

“Ah… things did get a little dicey near the end. I got stuck behind an energy barrier that came back up at the last minute.”

“Oh. How did you get out?”

Widowmaker spoke up. “The bomb happened to take out the shield power core first. It seems luck is the only thing capable of saving this girl,” she muttered.

Lena pursed her lips and looked away.

“Well…” Winston glanced between them. “I suppose the only thing left is going back to Angela. On your way over she called and said she wanted to see you both again - Lena first.”

Lena frowned. “She already gave us a once-over.”

Winston shrugged. “She didn't give me any details.”

“Alright,” Lena sighed, “I'll head over. Don't get yourself in trouble while I'm gone,” she tossed to Widowmaker.

Widowmaker shot her a glare. “You are one to talk. My life expectancy plummets around you.”

“Hey, it's not my fault you -”

“Lena.” Winston's voice was firm but a bit weary as he interrupted the borderline yell. “Angela’s waiting.”

Lena closed her mouth, set her jaw, and walked out.

Lena knew that at this point, Winston was used to the snarky back and forth between the unlikely partners - and usually tried to mitigate the verbal damage. Despite the clamors against the Overwatch-Talon alliance, Winston was keenly aware that the devil they knew was in fact preferable to the damage the new organization could wreak. Once the powers that be had put aside their pride to take out the mutual threat, the question had then been who on each side would be willing to work together with minimal risk of a murder resulting.

Lena had plenty of grievances against Talon, but hers were still limited compared to her teammates - not to mention she would be the last person to go back on a truce and lash out violently even if she didn't like the arrangement. Widowmaker was an even simpler choice as she was expected to be fundamentally unable to have strong feelings against anything. Thus did the once-nemeses become a unit.

It hadn't been easy at first, but it had been a couple of months now and they had gradually come to harass each other a bit less than at the beginning. In fact, it turned out that they worked rather well together, their disparate modus operandi complementing each other's weak points. She had even begun to wonder how they'd ever be able to go back to fighting after knowing they functioned so effectively like this.

Lena would never breathe a word of this to anyone, but despite the occasional friction, she had come to almost enjoy the partnership - it was certainly better than sitting around doing nothing. The biggest surprise had been Widowmaker turning out not to be the heartless machine she had initially seemed. This past mission had wound up being a bit stressful at the end… but that was over now.

Lena reached the clinic and walked in to find Angela in the back. “Hey, doc.”

Angela looked up from her table where she appeared to be setting up a few screens. “Ah, Lena. Glad you’re here.”

“What’s up?”

“I actually have one more test to run to make sure you both made it out alright.”

“We're _fine_ ,” Lena stressed, “not a scratch on us. Pretty sure what you've done already is overkill.” She offered a grin.

Angela didn't return it. “We still need some check-ups. And to go over your mission details.”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “Already did that with Winston.” She looked around at the new screens and a machine next to an examination chair that had been there earlier but was now front and center. “Wait… what's this really about?”

Angela bore a frown on her face. “Your mission went better than any of us expected.”

“Yeah, exactly, ‘cause we're that good.”

“Perhaps. But there is the possibility that….”

“What?”

Angela gestured to her computer. “I reviewed the details about the operations going on at the facility you just destroyed. If we'd known earlier, maybe we could have been more careful, but… Lena, do you remember your mission from start to finish?”

Angela was getting more intense by the second and Lena didn't like it. “Of course I do.”

“But you wouldn't even know if they did anything to you, would you?” Angela’s face fell. “Amélie didn't.”

Lena inhaled sharply as she realized what Angela was suggesting. “We - we haven't been brainwashed! That's ridiculous!”

“That organization is known for its mental conditioning programs - that's why we wanted them stopped in the first place - but seeing the actual data from their trials…” Angela’s jaw twitched. “They found a way to alter memory with only a few minutes of exposure to their technology. I don’t know how, but they did. I want to believe you, Lena, but professionally you know I'm a doctor, and personally you know I've dealt with this before.”

Lena felt overwhelmed by the implications of such a thing, but she certainly wasn't in a position to be arguing with Angela, especially with the paranoia of what she had experienced all those years ago. Providing her some peace of mind couldn't hurt. Lena swallowed her protest. “What's the test?”

“It's a recently developed procedure that works like a lie detector but also alerts us to subconscious anomalies -- memories that are either incomplete or altered. It's experimental, but effective as far as trials have shown so far. I didn’t think we’d need it so soon, but now is as important a time as any.”

“I'll go first. Widow will probably feel better about it, then. Let's just get this over with and we'll all be able to breathe easy.” She offered a smile which was at least somewhat returned this time.

“I'm surprised you're not taking the opportunity to see her annoyed.”

“Eh, I'd rather be on her good side until we're no longer sleeping within the same square kilometer.”

“Hm, likely for the best.”

Lena settled down into the examination chair, tapping her fingers on the armrests as Angela set everything up. Bands with electrodes attached were bound around her wrists and forehead, that last also securing to the headrest.

“Your head needs to remain as still as possible,” Angela murmured in explanation. Satisfied with the connections, she walked to the control panel in the back. “We're almost ready to start. Remember, you need to tell the entirety of what happened, otherwise, the machine will believe you're lying.”

Lena tried to nod before remembering she was rather stuck. “Got it.”

“Alright, let's get a baseline. State your name and the mission objective.”

“Name’s Lena Oxton, codename Tracer. Me and Widowmaker were assigned to take out a research facility that a rogue organization was using to study mind control, among other things.”

Angela nodded, coaxing her on.

“When we got in, we thought we might’ve tripped an alarm, but, nothing. First we found the lab where they kept their research records and copied what data we could find. Then we snuck into engineering through the air ducts and took down the energy barrier leading to the power core so we could plant the bomb. Plan went off without a hitch, almost. On our way back out, I thought I heard someone behind me so I lagged behind for a second. After that, somehow the barriers came back up and I got stuck on the wrong side. Widow turned around when she heard it.”

“What did you both do?”

“Tried to find a circuit or control panel somewhere that might be linked to the barrier, but… nothing.”

“How did you get out, then?”

“A little time and a lot of luck.” Lena laughed. “The bomb we set took out one of the shield generators before actually hitting the fuel source and, ah, blowing us up. As soon as the barrier came down I caught up with Widow and we got the hell out of there.”

Angela stared at her screen. “Anything you were thinking about?”

“Uh…” Lena furrowed her brow. “Well, I was bloody worried, that’s for sure. Little scared I might not make it out this time. Widow stayed to try and help but it didn’t matter either way since the barrier came down in time. Somewhere in there she yelled at me, of course.”

“Nothing else happened?”

“Nope. So we’re done here?” Lena was itching to get these bands off, but Angela didn’t move. “Can’t you do your notes or whatever later?” Still no response. “Earth to Dr. Ziegler!” At last, Angela’s eyes rose to Lena’s face. They looked pained. “Angie?” Lena felt a chill run down her spine. “Why are you looking at me like that?

“There's nothing you left out?” Angela’s voice was soft. They both knew the answer to that meant a disaster.

Lena wasn't sure if her reply was an answer or a plea. “No.”

\---

Widowmaker was quiet as she was led to the clinic by a guard. She was used to everyone being wary around her while on this base, but usually it was Lena keeping an eye on her - Lena who at the moment was nowhere to be found. Of course the girl would disappear on her in an uncomfortable situation.

She tried not to grimace as she was sat down and had the sensors attached to her, knowing there was no point in arguing. Overwatch didn't like her, but she understood Dr. Ziegler enough to know she wasn't in any actual danger.

“State your name and mission, then go from there.”

Widowmaker blandly listed off the steps in their infiltration, finally reaching the point where she had become separated from Lena. “I didn't realize I had gotten so far ahead of Tracer until I heard a noise behind me. When I turned around, I found her trapped behind the shield.”

“And what did you do then?”

“Told her how much of an idiot she was for falling behind. And then I looked for something that might take down the barrier. It wound up dissipating before I could find anything so Lena caught up and we got out of there.”

“You didn’t run into anyone? That’s all that happened?”

“No, that was it.” Widowmaker took one look at Angela’s face and knew what it meant. She clenched her jaw a moment, then scoffed sardonically. “Of course. It was too easy.”

Widowmaker didn't speak another word as she was detached from the chair and led down the hall into the cell wing. She walked into one of the holding rooms, finding Lena sitting on the cot in one corner with her arms around her knees. She looked up at Widow and sighed heavily.

“Well, shite.”

\---

Winston stared severely at the papers strewn before him on the conference table, full of graphs and data points that Angela had slid over to him half an hour ago. She was still a couple of seats away, waiting for a verdict.

“This isn't good,” he finally sighed.

Angela shook her head despondently. “I've been hoping I missed something, but the spike near the end is unmistakable. Something is definitely wrong.”

“And they went through everything that happened?”

“They both insist that's all. They said it was as easy as anything.”

“Wish that didn't sound so lucky.”

“You're telling me,” Angela muttered.

Winston pushed the papers away, looking at Angela thoughtfully. “So we know this organization has had the brainwashing technology, but what's even the point? What would they be trying to accomplish?”

“It’s nearly impossible to tell. The reports we’ve heard indicated that there may be a programmed directive triggered by a sound, person, place… it could be anything. But given how difficult it is to pin down our operatives, I doubt they would waste this technology on anything minor.”

Winston’s gaze was dark. “The summit.”

“That’s the best guess I have so far. It’ll be the first time since the beginning of our project that both Talon and Overwatch leaders will be in the same place. These people know this partnership is a threat to them.”

“So then… what do we do with Lena and Widowmaker? Are they a danger until then?”

“Unlikely… although once their options become limited in terms of completing the directive, there may be a failsafe to worry about.”

“So we can only isolate them temporarily. And then…”

There was silence in the wake of the understood consequence.

“We know what Talon’s solution is going to be,” Winston pointed out gravely.

“They’re not getting their hands on Lena,” Angela shot back. “I don’t care what it takes, we are not letting them anywhere near her.”

“Agreed. So what’s our alternative?”

Angela deflated a bit. “Haven’t decided that part yet.”

“Does Talon know?”

“Unfortunately yes. I had to provide an explanation as to why their agent wasn't immediately checking in - the last thing we need is an incident where we're detaining Widowmaker without their knowledge.”

“Are they sending someone over?”

“Not just yet. They want a retest first - which will be done - but I’d like to wait until tomorrow. It will give them some time to recover from the stress before having to hash it out again.”

“And you’re hoping they’ll remember something,” Winston added knowingly. Angela nodded. “I suppose some time can’t hurt.”

“Hopefully having them together will jog their memories and not put them at each other’s throats. Not that we have a choice given the state of the base. I’ll make sure they’re checked on frequently enough.” Angela rose, heading for the door.

“Angela.” She paused. “We’ve saved Lena before. If she has been hurt… we can do it again.”

Angela turned around and nodded with a slight smile. “You’re right. We’ll work this out.”

Winston returned the smile just before she slipped out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a (complete!) 3-chapter work that I will be posting over the next week or so. Stay tuned.


	2. Chapter 2

Three hours.

Lena held in a sigh as she glanced at the clock on one wall of the holding room. It had been three hours since she’d been tested and locked up in here, followed promptly by Widowmaker showing up.

What a mess they were in.

Lena had been fiddling with one of Winston’s broken remote plane models that she’d asked to have a go at repairing. She usually didn’t have time to work on it these days with all of the missions, but at this point there was nothing else to do. That said, two hours in she had run into a brick wall and now was too stuck for this to feel even remotely satisfying.

She sat back with a huff, turning her gaze to Widowmaker who had been sitting on the other bed with a tablet in her hands, unmoving this entire time. Lena resisted the urge to bounce her knee anxiously. She was generally too busy to sit around and feel awkward about anything, but now that there was nothing to do but wait in this cramped little room with Widowmaker of all people, she couldn't help feeling a bit antsy.

For her part, Widowmaker seemed rather unfazed. She was still reading or whatever it was she was doing over there, legs crossed, ponytail running down one shoulder. Lena had mostly gotten used to her almost unnatural calm, but silence wasn’t helping her own nerves at the moment.

“You are staring,” Widowmaker suddenly spoke up.

Lena almost jumped. “Ah… bored,” she confessed.

Widowmaker was quiet for a while before speaking again, meeting Lena’s eyes. “Why did they put me in here?”

“Er, you said they think you're also -”

“I mean in the same room as you.”

“The other cells are still full of -” But suddenly, the words sank in and Lena found herself offended. “Hey, I'm not even bothering you!”

“Clearly you are the one uncomfortable if you are sitting there not saying a word.”

“Thought I'd offer you enough decency to stay quiet since we're stuck together for the time being,” Lena shot back.

“Lena Oxton being thoughtful in that regard?” Widowmaker scoffed. “They truly must have brainwashed you, then.”

“Fine! I'll just annoy the hell out of you since you're complaining so much.”

“I am merely pointing out the obvious. You are not pleased.”

Maybe it _was_ a little odd that Lena wasn't quite being her normal self. “Guess I’m not as chipper as usual,” Lena conceded. “But it's not you, it's… this.” Lena gestured vaguely. “We can't even do anything from in here except hope everyone change their minds. We have to come up with a way to convince them they're wrong. There's no way we were caught like that.”

“But what if we were?” Widowmaker’s voice was dim.

Lena took in the despondence on Widow’s face, rather surprised by the uncertainty there. Perhaps she shouldn’t have been, though. If Lena had accomplished anything during their time in proximity, it was drawing out little glimpses of emotion that belied the cold demeanor that was usually flawlessly presented. It had changed their dynamic in a way that Lena felt she couldn’t do without anymore.

“Haven't you considered that it's possible?” Widowmaker went on.

Thoughts turned back to their current situation. “That we're actually out of our minds and going to turn on everyone? I…” Lena shrugged. “Maybe. But all things considered…”

Widowmaker’s expression turned suspicious. “Are you actually upset about this? Or are you not taking it seriously?”

“Of course I'm upset,” Lena countered, bite creeping into her tone. “Thought we made it out but no, that mission had to end in a train wreck. Listen, the last thing I want is for you to be stuck here too, but also I just… I'm… glad that I don't have to be alone right now.” Lena wrapped her arms around her knees. She didn't quite have the courage to look at Widowmaker who was silent after that admission.

Widowmaker leaned back against the wall and let out a sigh before at last replying. “Silly girl.” It was all she had to say, apparently.

Lena looked up at her with an eyebrow raised. “‘Silly’?”

“Thinking my presence is at all superior to solitude. But… I suppose if we are to be imprisoned, might as well not be bored. Annoyance is better than nothing.”

“Yeah, well, good to know something is vaguely mutual.”

The two stared each other down for a moment before Lena gave in and offered a slight, wry smile.

Widowmaker blinked at her, but before she returned to her tablet, Lena thought she saw a glimmer of softness around her lips.

The quiet didn’t seem as uncomfortable after that.

\---

There was a knock on the door. Lena started from a nap at the noise; it had been another few hours since so much as a word had been spoken.

“It’s me.” Angela’s voice came from outside, followed by a slight wait before the door opened. Lena and Widowmaker looked up at her.

“News?” Lena sat up expectantly.

“Some. Widowmaker, we’re going to take you down to the conference room. Someone from Talon will be on call and we need to go over everything together.” Widowmaker looked like she wanted to sigh, but simply set down her tablet and rose, walking out of the room as Angela gave her room to pass. “The two guards will walk you and I’ll be there soon, but I need to speak with Lena for a second.” Angela walked inside, sitting down on the cot.

Lena held Angela’s eyes. “What’s going on, Doc?”

“Winston and I have been considering what to do with the two of you. We’ve only briefly been in contact with Talon, but we’ve decided on a few steps forward.”

“Verdict?”

“Tomorrow, you’re both due for a retest. If today was a fluke, then all the better. If the results stand, we can begin intensive psych evaluations for a start, then do some imaging in case we can find something. These would take some time, though.”

“Have you seen this kind of thing before? With the brainwashing or whatever?”

“Not up close, although we had heard of possible cases where perfectly loyal agents or soldiers would turn on someone without warning - usually in a high-stakes situation. It had never happened with Overwatch as far as we could tell, but… maybe we should have expected some sort of cog in the partnership we’re running.”

Something clicked into place. “You think the summit might be in danger, don’t you?”

“Perhaps.” Angela bit her lip. “But of course nothing is certain right now. We won’t get any more answers until morning, so you might as well get some rest.” She offered a sympathetic smile, then rose, heading for the door.

“Angie?” Angela turned back around. “Be honest with me… what are the chances you think that this is all just a big mistake?”

Angela’s face fell a bit. “The data is… not promising. But there is still the possibility that you’ve simply forgotten something.”

Lena never forgot mission details and they both knew it. But even if she had… “Did Widowmaker’s test go wrong at the same point mine did?” Angela’s lips were tight when she nodded. Lena winced. “Bummer.”

“Don’t give up, though, Lena. Whatever happens on the retest, we still have options, remember?”

The clock was ticking if it was in fact the summit, but Lena decided to take Angela’s attempt at consolation for what it was. “Thanks, Angie.”

Angela smiled softly again. “Of course. I need to go - can’t keep Talon waiting. But call for me whenever if you need me, alright?”

Angela left the room, Lena hearing the brisk tap of her heels down the hall as the door closed behind her. Lena wasn’t sure that sleep would come very readily tonight. At the very least, she had to wait for Widowmaker’s side of the story once she got back. She wondered what nonsense Talon would be coming up with…

\---

“Hey,” a disembodied voice drawled out from the conference room speakers. “How’s my favorite araña doing?”

Widowmaker looked as though she were ready to turn on her heel and walk back out at the sound of Sombra’s irreverent tone. “Has the torture already begun?”

“Aw, come on. Aren’t you at least a little happy to hear a familiar voice?”

“I don’t know her,” Widowmaker deadpanned to Angela’s confused face.

“Ay, fine, be that way. It was either me, Gabe, or O’Deorain on this call, and I just thought I’d be a _friend_ by sparing you those options.”

This time, Widowmaker took a moment to reply. “Never put me in a position where I have to thank you ever again.” She at last sat down at the conference table with Angela and Winston.

Sombra’s laugh echoed in the room. “That’s what I thought. But anyway, _dime_. What the hell’s going on with our star duo over there?”

“Possible mind alteration based on the examination we put them through,” Angela explained.

“You get your hands on any of that tech?”

“Unfortunately not,” Winston admitted. “Our data is limited to hearsay and qualitative reports with few technical details, so there hasn’t been much to examine yet.”

“What’s the plan, then?”

Angela jumped back in. “Some psych evaluations, some scans… We’re still working on it all, but we’re willing to help Widowmaker the same way as Lena if we do find a solution that’s non-invasive. I mentioned it to the liaison earlier, but they didn’t confirm what options Talon would allow Widowmaker to have.”

“I'm sure O’Deorain has her preference, but for the moment they’re leaving it to Widowmaker to decide. The council said, and I quote, ‘Reconditioning is a costly and risky process and we want to make sure that Widowmaker is truly compromised and that there is no better alternative before we go through with it.’ Could’ve been a little more tactful, but you know them.”

Angela sighed. “If only we had more data to work with, this would be so much clearer. Being able to examine the brain tissue of those reprogrammed would give us a clue as to where the problem lies and how we could fix it with minimum risk, but… Lena and Widowmaker are all we have.” She looked over at Widowmaker who was staring blankly at the table. “We’ll do what we can and check back in tomorrow after the retest.”

“Sounds like a plan; I’ll relay the message. In the meantime, don’t have too much fun locked up in a room alone with Tracer.”

Widowmaker could not have rolled her eyes any harder.

\---

Lena looked up expectantly as the door opened and Widowmaker walked in. “What’d they say?”

Widowmaker shrugged, not even looking at her as she plopped down onto her cot. “Nothing I did not already expect. Although…” her brow furrowed, “Talon is not as keen on reconditioning me as I thought.”

“Oh.” That was a pleasant surprise.

“Of course, the reasoning they gave was mostly financial, but still. They are willing to give Overwatch a chance at fixing the alteration if they can.”

“That’s great!” Lena’s face lit up. “We can beat this together and you can still be… you.”

Widowmaker looked at her with a frown. “I am always myself.”

Lena inherently knew that wasn't true but decided to pursue another angle. “Doesn't that process hurt you, though? Isn’t it dangerous? If I knew this whole mess would put you through that, I'd…” Lena sobered starkly, looking down at her hands for a few moments. She bit her lip, weighing her words. “You didn't have to wait for me, you know,” she finally said quietly, looking back up. “I wouldn't have blamed you if -”

“It wouldn't have made sense to give up that quickly and come back to Overwatch without their best agent. What a death sentence that would be.” Widowmaker’s tone left no room for argument as she picked up her tablet.

“But I still feel like this, what's happening to us, is kind of my fault. I did this to you.”

Widowmaker’s sternness faltered as she looked back over at Lena. “Don’t say that.”

Lena held her gaze earnestly. “Then at least let me thank you. For… being there.”

“I would not have been anywhere else.”

The unexpected glimmer of warmth in Widowmaker’s eyes made something flutter in Lena’s chest. But with the reality of their situation, it also ached. If she had ever wanted something for Widowmaker, it was anything but this. She didn’t know what she’d do if what they’d come to know of each other were to be erased into cold nothingness. Or if Widowmaker were to not even make it. The thought was far more frightening than she cared to admit.

“We’ll get out of this,” Lena promised quietly, willing strength back into her words. It was for both their sakes. “We always do, whatever it takes.”

Widowmaker nodded slowly, solemnly, as though there were far more going on behind those eyes than Lena could see. “Whatever it takes.”

Those were the last words they spoke before they shut off the lights and lied down to sleep.

At least they could pretend.

\---

Lena’s eyes opened abruptly into the darkness of the room. It was certainly still too early in the morning to be called such and she felt the expected exhaustion from being pulled from unconsciousness, but for the moment, her mind was tormented.

It hadn’t been an exaggeration when she’d said that having someone here with her was helping her stay calm - the only thing doing so, in fact. The more time passed, the more their situation was sinking in, as well as how unlikely a reasonable way out was becoming. If something big didn't change soon, extreme measures would certainly become their reality.

Lena didn’t know exactly what Widowmaker’s reconditioning had consisted of, but she knew enough that the prospect of going through it herself chilled her to the bone. She knew that Angela would probably never let it get to that… but what if she couldn’t find an alternative? What if there was no choice? Was it inevitable or would Lena choose to rather die than let that happen?

She held in a sigh, rolling onto her side as though to turn away from the morbid thoughts. They weren't helping and she was practically begging for sleep to find her again as her mind darted from one thought to another. She saw the mission. Relived the anxiety of the test. Heard the rare sincerity of Widow’s words since they'd been stuck together in this room.

_I would not have been anywhere else._

Instead of fear, now there was a sense of peace at that all over again. Once more, the thought of Widowmaker, the knowledge that she was there, was reassuring somehow. Lena allowed the feeling to help her mind slow, her body relax until she felt nothing but her fatigue dragging her back down into sleep.

It didn’t feel like much later when murmurs began to drift into her ears, Lena vaguely distinguishing Widowmaker’s and Angela’s voices. There was the closing of the door then more quiet, Lena nodding off again - until a light came on, painfully blinding even with her eyes closed. She threw an arm over them and groaned. “Bloody hell, what gives?”

This time, she clearly heard multiple voices outside. When she rubbed at her eyes and squinted them open, she found Widowmaker standing by the door.

Lena frowned as she sat up. “What's…” her voice was hoarse with sleep. “What’s happening?”

Angela turned to her. “We're moving Widowmaker to the clinic. She’s due for the retest before Talon arrive and decide how to deal with this.”

Lena suddenly felt quite awake. She didn't like the sound of Talon coming by - especially so early. She glanced at Widowmaker whose face remained confoundingly stony as she walked out of the room and was taken by a couple of guards down the hall. Something felt wrong.

She looked to Angela. “Is the retest all we’re doing?”

“On our end, yes. We need to verify the results.”

“And if the retest comes back positive, then what?”

“Talon will take care of reconditioning Widowmaker and we’ll keep an eye on you until we find a better answer.”

“Talon will… what?” Lena’s heart plummeted as that sank in. “No. No, there's no way I can let them -”

“Widowmaker insisted on her decision. We don't have any choice in this, you least of all, I’m afraid.”

No. No, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Lena’s eyes were desperate as they flicked over to the door. She jumped to her feet and bolted out of the room and down the hall, reaching the corner and freezing as she spotted Widowmaker being led away by two agents. “Widow!”

Widowmaker didn’t stop walking, but she did turn around. The raw, dismal look she shot Lena made words fail her. And then she turned forward again, Lena staring after her until she was out of sight.

Lena felt a hand grip her arm and turned to see one of the guards. She sighed in defeat, letting herself be taken back to the holding room.

Angela was standing there with apologetic yet somewhat confused eyes. “I’m sorry, Lena.”

Lena’s mind was racing - she didn’t understand anything. “Widow doesn’t have to do this. Talon gave her the option for god’s sake, why is she going through with it? She doesn't even look like she wants to leave.”

“To be honest, I’m not sure why she…” Angela furrowed her brow.

“What?”

Angela tilted her head thoughtfully. “She asked us something this morning. We mentioned that the brain examination during and after the conditioning process might allow us to better understand the mind alteration.”

“But what’s the point if she’s going to be wiped clean anyway?”

Angela kept a significant gaze on Lena. “We said that the data collected could help other cases, so we could rescue their minds without complete reconditioning.”

“But Widowmaker doesn’t care about anyone else. Why would she -” Lena stopped herself cold.

_Whatever it takes._

“Lena… I can’t believe I’m asking this but… is it possible she’s doing this for -”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Lena whirled around with her breaking words, retreating to the bed and facing away from Angela as she sat down and pulled a pillow to her chest. This couldn't be happening. And it especially couldn't be happening just because of _her_.

There was quiet in the room for a few moments. Lena could practically feel questions radiating off of Angela, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“I have to go for a little while to speak with Talon again and get Widowmaker set up. Will you be alright?” Angela asked gently.

Lena said nothing.

“I’ll let you know how the results go. Try to get some rest.”

Lena waited until the door had long closed behind Angela before letting tears fall. She buried her face into the pillow to silence herself as she failed to keep her shoulders from shaking. With a sniff, she looked up again and tried to pull herself together. God, this was stupid. This was Widowmaker. _Widowmaker_. Lena wasn’t supposed to feel so…

She let the thoughts trail off. Who was she kidding? Her emotions had gotten the better of her a long time ago; she just hadn’t expected consequences like this so soon. They were supposed to have more time.

Still holding her pillow, Lena crumpled onto her side and closed her eyes. She was utterly drained, both physically and emotionally from this upheaval, but she had to come up with some other solution. This was all her fault. Angela would be back when the test was done so perhaps there would be some change. Perhaps there would be a new option. Perhaps…

Lena couldn't help her thoughts drifting, mind dimming as drowsiness overtook her.

\---

It was time.

The bands were tightened around Widowmaker’s wrists and her fingers twitched around the armrests. Despite her attempt at apathy, there was a discomfort in her chest eating at her bit by bit. She tried to swallow it as Angela moved away from her and stood behind her monitors.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

Not that it mattered. Regardless of how she felt about it, she was lost if she didn't pass this again, and deep down, she had already accepted that she wouldn't.

_Widow!_

She tried to blink away Lena’s devastated face emblazoned in her mind. This would be for the best, in the end. She never would have avoided reconditioning forever and in this way, maybe she could make it useful to someone.

To Lena.

Overwatch would do anything to save her, and maybe this was just what they'd need to do so. If anyone was worth it, it was her.

Always her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your sad face emoticons have not gone unnoticed... forgive me, my readers. But here we are, at long last, the final installment where we discover exactly how this all plays out...

_The halls were dark and empty as Lena and Widowmaker raced through. The bomb had been planted and all that was left was making their grand escape. With the security barriers down, it couldn’t get any simpler._

_A soft sound came from behind Lena. Turning away from Widowmaker in front of her, she scanned the area they had tread. It was probably merely something she had knocked over - she just wanted to make as sure as possible that no people were caught up in the explosion. But after that, there was only quiet. False alarm._

_Widowmaker stopped at the end of the hall when she saw Lena had fallen behind. She sighed dramatically. “Are you coming? Hurry up!”_

_“Yeah, yeah. Just thought I heard something.” Lena turned back around and rushed ahead. Cleared most of the length of the hallway. Almost caught up to Widowmaker._

_Ran straight into what felt like a concrete wall._

_Lena reeled backwards, disorientated from the brief shock and pain. What had she -_

_She felt her stomach bottom out as she took in the reflecting shield before her. Her eyes flicked to Widowmaker’s which looked just as fearful for a split second. But the surprise at that was quickly outweighed by the current disaster._

_“Tracer, you fool.” Widowmaker’s voice was biting as she rushed back towards the shield and began searching the wall next to it. She trailed off into some vague mumbling in French._

_Lena didn’t know what to say for a moment. This was supposed to have been easy, but now… She tried to brush off the panic for the time being, finding hope in the panel that Widowmaker had just found._

_“We’ve still got that hacking device, right? Just use it on the shield circuits or whatever.”_

_“Working on it,” Widowmaker mumbled._

_But the seconds were counting down. Lena glanced down at her watch, seeing the time to detonation approaching quickly. Her heart rate picked up._

_“Anything?” Widowmaker didn’t reply. “No use, huh?” Lena’s voice was losing its brightness, her shoulders sagging. “Listen… there's no point staying behind anymore. Go on ahead and if I can figure a way out, I'll catch up.” Widowmaker remained tinkering with the panel as though Lena hadn't said a word. “Widow. Just go, I'll handle myself.”_

_“You are never getting out of here without my help.”_

_“I'm not getting out of here either way.” Widowmaker froze at the blunt resignation. The way it was so quietly stated. “You know it's useless. Leave while you still have the chance. Please.” Nothing. Lena didn’t like this. “You - you need to get back and tell everyone we got the mission done. They need that data we found or this will have all been for nothing.” That had to be enough to convince her._

_But Widowmaker returned to sorting through the wires. “There might still be a way, I just need some more time.”_

_“There_ is _no more time!” Lena turned as she heard a rumble behind her. She then whirled back around to Widowmaker who was still, infuriatingly, lingering. Lena was desperate. Why wouldn’t she listen? “Get out of here, this place is gonna blow!”_

_Widowmaker slammed closed the panel and faced her in fury. “_ Non! _”_

_Lena was silenced with that word, almost screamed out, filled with the strongest emotion she had ever heard out of Widow by far. She stared into golden eyes, wide and suffering with an intensity that took her breath away. There was nothing she could do. Nothing she could say. She was going to die here, and Widow was going right down with her. It hurt._

And it still hurt now. Lena blinked at the wall across from her, unseeing for the images in her mind. She could never forget the look of Widowmaker’s eyes on the other side of that barrier, the same eyes that had just glanced back at her down the hall except far more accepting this time around. That any emotion like this could be found on her would have once been unthinkable, but there was no avoiding the brutal reality that Widowmaker was willing to sacrifice herself to save Lena. Again.

Lena held the pillow tighter, muffling another small cry into it. She hated this. This was a pain that she had never expected, least of all for Widowmaker. By any objective measure it made no sense… and yet it wasn’t all that unfounded, was it?

No, this was ignited by something more than just Lena’s usual compassion. She wasn't sure what to call it, but if she were honest, she had felt it creeping up for some time now. It had grown little by little over the months they’d been working together, fueled by what they had come to understand of each other, and had turned into something she didn't want to acknowledge. How could she? In their positions it was too dangerous to even entertain the thought of something like that, and so she had staunchly ignored any hint of it on either of their parts. It was a secret that she had forcibly repressed. Dismissed. Lied to herself about.

But what did that matter now? Lena had to focus on what she’d been missing about this whole mess. She still didn’t know when they possibly could have been caught because it just didn’t make any sense. Lena sat up in the cot, trying to brush off sleepiness and find some clarity in her thoughts. There was suddenly something itching at her that -

_Lied to herself about_.

Lena inhaled sharply as the gravity of that fell upon her.

They had this all wrong.

“Oi! Let me out of here!” Lena bolted up, throwing her pillow off of her as she ran to the door and banged on it. “It's an emergency! Get Angela!”

The door soon opened with a guard and Angela right behind him. She looked concerned. “I was just in the middle of the retest. What is it?”

“I need to talk to her. We were wrong. We messed up and made the test think we were brainwashed but we're not. I'm telling you, you gotta let me see her.”

Angela hesitated, considering. “I suppose it's now or never if you think there's a chance it was a false positive.”

“I _know_ there is.”

Angela didn't look convinced but she nodded shortly anyway. “Take her to the clinic,” she directed the guard.

The walk over felt agonizingly slow - Lena felt as though she needed to run as fast as possible, knowing time was of the essence. She needed to convince Widow she was right and that alone might be a struggle. They arrived at the clinic where another guard stood next to the open door. Lena walked inside to find Widow cuffed to the examination chair.

Widowmaker’s eyes widened in surprise when they looked up. “Tracer?”

“Can you give us the room?” Lena looked back hopefully at the guards who stepped just outside.

“What is going on?” Widowmaker watched them go in confusion.

“Widow, listen to me.” Lena came to crouch beside her chair. “We're not brainwashed; we lied. We didn't even know we were lying, but we did.”

Widowmaker shook her head, clenching her jaw. “I did not lie. Stop grasping at nothing and let me get this over with. It is a lost cause.”

“No, it's not! Alright, maybe it wasn't lying and more… leaving something out.” Lena took a shaky breath. “What did you tell them about the barrier cutting me off from you?”

Widow’s gaze looked a bit stricken as though returning to that very moment. “That you were trapped behind and I couldn't reach you until the outage.”

“What about what you were thinking?”

“That I needed to try to find something to get the shield down.”

“And what about… how you felt?”

Widowmaker froze for a second then looked away. “Nothing. I felt nothing.”

The denial felt all too familiar. Lena’s fingers tentatively came up to meet Widow’s in the barest touch. “Yes, you did.”

Widowmaker’s breath caught, her eyes avoiding Lena’s at all costs. “How would you know?”

Now, Lena placed her hand on Widow’s cheek, forcing those eyes to meet hers. “Because I felt something too, love.”

“What could you possibly have felt?” The words tried to sound harsh but only came out weak.

The truth was so ridiculous, Lena couldn’t help but let out the smallest, saddest laugh. “Everything that I didn’t want to.”

Widowmaker looked as though this were the last thing that she wanted to accept. “No. No, that would never be detected.”

“It would be if it was strong enough. I know it was for me as much as I tried to ignore it… and I think it was for you too. Knowing that you’d die because of me, it -”

“Don't.”

“I _have_ to,” Lena pressed, eyes pleading. “I have to face it. It's the only way out of this.”

Widowmaker was staring back with an intensity that was almost a glare. But then, at last, the belligerence cracked and she shook her head in defeat. Lena’s hand dropped.

“It was always going to end in a disaster wasn't it?” Widowmaker laughed mirthlessly. “I was always going to be reconditioned anyway.”

“But if they see you weren't brainwashed, they'll -”

“Do you honestly think this alternative makes me any less compromised in their eyes?”

Widow was right. Lena hadn't thought that part through. “I… if there's something I can…”

“C’est comme ça.” Widowmaker took a breath and with it returned her steady tone. “If the point was saving you to begin with… then this is one last way I can do that.”

There was a new dread seizing Lena. This was still going to fall apart. “You don't need to do it for me. I - I can confess myself and you just make whatever decision you think -”

“It won't work. You knew how I felt and if you hide it we are right back where we started.” Widowmaker’s voice was firm. “This ends here.”

Lena wasn’t sure what exactly she was referring to, but did it matter at this point? Deep down, Lena was afraid there would be nothing close to a happy ending. Maybe there never could have been.

Widowmaker looked up to Angela who had just stepped into the room. “Retest me.” Lena rose and began to turn away, but was stopped by a hand catching her sleeve. “Stay.” Widowmaker wasn’t meeting Lena’s eyes, but her grip said everything.

Lena turned to Angela as though daring her to say no. Angela looked bewildered, but acquiesced, gesturing to the back of the room. Lena followed her to the setup of screens where she readied the test.

“Alright. Can we begin?”

“Yes.” Widowmaker’s face was impassive.

Lena didn’t know how it could be. She felt as though she might be sick.

“We can skip to the part after you and Lena planted the bomb. Go through your actions on your way out.”

“We had to pass multiple shields as we returned to the exit. I was concerned that they might come online too early so I wanted to get out as soon as possible. Tracer fell behind and before she could catch up again, the last shield came back up.”

“What did you do?”

“I looked for a power supply that I could damage to bring down the barrier. But I couldn't find one.”

“There was another way you thought you could rescue her?”

Widowmaker looked down. “No. There was nothing I could do.”

“Could you still have left and saved yourself?”

“Yes.”

Angela cocked her head. “So why didn't you?”

“It would have been foolish to give up so easily.”

Lena caught Angela frowning at her screen.

Widowmaker noticed the same and winced. “I… did not leave because…” she glanced briefly at Lena then turned her pained eyes away, “...because I would have rather died myself than leave Tracer behind.”

Lena didn't know whether hearing those words made her heart soar or crash and burn.

There was a pause for a moment as though Angela were too shocked to continue. “…Why?”

Widowmaker swallowed thickly. “Because I care about her,” she nearly whispered. “Far more than I am supposed to.”

The silence was suffocating in the wake of those words, and in anticipation of Angela’s verdict. She looked at her screen then turned back to Widowmaker with not a small amount of disbelief. “You're clean.”

Widowmaker let out a breath that seemed to be at once in relief and despair.

“My turn,” Lena murmured.

She forced herself to the front of the room, her pulse racing the closer she got to Widowmaker. Angela passed in front of her to remove the bands on the woman in the chair who then rose and moved to the back of the room. She didn't look at Lena, but it seemed she was staying as well. Lena let herself be set up in the chair and tried to calm down as Angela returned to her monitoring.

“You can start whenever you're ready.”

Lena took a deep breath and began, managing to keep her voice even until she reached the barrier going up.

“Widow tried to save me, messing with the panel, but she couldn’t. I kept telling her to leave, but she wouldn’t. I… I thought I was going to have to watch her die with me.” She took an uneven breath. “I felt devastated. And guilty. That she would throw her life away just because she refused to accept that she couldn't save me.”

Lena could see the hesitation on Angela’s face. And the pity. The confession wasn’t enough yet and Lena knew it with every breaking piece of her heart. Of course, she had been the one to realize the necessity of this, but that didn't make the words any easier.

With what was going to happen, though… maybe she owed them.

“If I said I felt… maybe the way you feel when you think you’re losing someone you… love… does it tell you I'm lying?”

There was quiet. Stillness. Then, Angela finally stepped back from the table. “You’re free to go.” There was nothing else to be said.

It was Widowmaker who approached Lena, kneeling down to carefully pull off the electrode bands from her wrists and forehead. Lena sighed shakily as Angela and the guards left the room leaving only the two of them to sit by each other, no words coming out for a while.

But there was no time to put off what needed to be said.

Lena took a breath, not quite able to meet Widowmaker’s eyes. “What happens now?”

Widowmaker seemed to have the same struggle. “Nothing. This was an anomaly that never should have happened. Nothing could ever come of it, even if we wanted it to.”

It killed her, Lena thought, to find that such an intimate emotion was to be reduced to a few words in a cold room, forced out for others to hear. That Widowmaker was right, and even the fantasy of what could have been had to be trampled into dust. With everything that had had to come to light today, Lena felt as though she’d had her heart ripped out and cut open with no one to piece it back together again. It wasn't fair that they had to pay for feeling something they couldn't control. Something that under any other circumstances should have been so _good_.

“Lena.” Lena’s attention snapped to Widowmaker whose eyes were uncharacteristically soft as they looked upon her now. “You deserve better.”

“Don't say that.” Lena felt something twist in her chest. “It's not right by you either.”

“Don't feel sorry for me, Lena, because once they are done with me, I won't.” Widow’s tone was blunt. “I won't feel anything anymore. You shouldn't fool yourself into thinking otherwise, and you will only hurt yourself if you don't move on.”

“It's my fault,” Lena choked out. “If I'd just caught up and not messed up that mission, you wouldn't be -”

Widowmaker pressed a finger to her lips. “It would never have worked. We should be grateful this ended sooner rather than later.” She retracted her hand.

Lena already found herself missing the touch, yearning for a closeness she knew she could never have.

Widowmaker stood. “Look after yourself. Talon won't like this… won't like you. I will do my best to make sure you are left out of the fallout, but there may be only so much I can do.”

“Then protect yourself too, yeah? Promise me you'll try.” Widowmaker didn't respond. She turned around, beginning to leave when Lena jumped up and impulsively grabbed her arm. “ _Promise_ ,” Lena stressed.

There was another stiff pause. But then she faced Lena again and slightly inclined her head in assent. It was the best Lena was going to get, but still she couldn’t bring herself to let go.

Widowmaker sighed, stepping towards Lena and making her heart race the slightest bit. In her mind, she could see Widow taking her face in her hands, slowly leaning down to press lips against hers in a kiss that felt barely there and yet so complete. So necessary. It was somehow a closure that Lena was dying for - one tiny piece of Widow that she could claim, no matter what happened once she walked through that door. The intensity in Widow’s eyes made such a possibility feel so real, so close as she lifted a gentle hand to Lena’s face. Lena’s wide eyes flicked between Widow’s as a thumb stroked the skin of her cheek.

But the touch had barely begun when it fell away, leaving Lena empty.

“Adieu, chérie.” Widowmaker held her gaze for but a moment longer before stepping back and turning around.

There was nothing left to do but let her walk away.

* * *

 

“Lena, it's me.”

The door to Lena’s dark room opened, the light from the hall illuminating her figure on the mattress, curled up and facing the wall. Angela walked inside, setting a tray on the nightstand.

She lingered by the bedside. “Today we found out the alliance program was expanded to include a few more agents since the summit went so well.” She was trying to sound bright. “The information you brought back is the reason it succeeded. The real positive case is still going through treatment, but they would have caused a lot more damage if we hadn’t known to monitor them.”

There was no reply. It had been a week since the incident and Lena had generally refused to speak to a soul, even Angela and Winston who came to bring her meals every day.

Finally, Angela sat down at the edge of the bed. “You haven’t seen sunlight in days. You're not a prisoner anymore, you know,” she said softly.

“Why not?” Lena croaked out. “Surely Overwatch doesn't appreciate _sympathy_ for the enemy.” Sympathy wasn't even close to the word for it.

“Overwatch doesn't know.”

Lena rolled over just enough so her eyes could meet Angela’s. “What?”

“They haven't asked for details yet and I won't offer any unless I have to. Winston is the only one who knows… and perhaps Sombra depending on how much she figured out.”

“Ha. Whole world might as well know, then.”

“If there were going to be severe fallout we likely would have heard of it by now,” Angela assured. “In the meantime, you don't need to be cooped up in here.”

Lena shifted to fully face her now, unwilling to let the topic go. “What does Talon know? Did you talk to them?”

“No, I only spoke to Widowmaker before she was taken in.”

“And? What does she think?”

“She said that Talon would deem the partnership counterproductive if she would sacrifice her utility for something so illogical.” Angela looked down. “Her words.”

Lena swallowed, dread in her throat. “We're both ruined, aren't we?”

Angela shook her head. “No. Like I said, we've likely averted any crisis already. There's no way to predict to future, but we've done all we can to mitigate the damage and need to move on. Don’t talk about what happened in that room, alright? It should stay there.”

“But… Widowmaker and Talon…”

“That’s their problem. Not yours anymore.”

Said problem could still easily come back to bite them all, but Angela was being strangely assertive about being able to sweep this under the rug. Either way, it was undeniable that there was nothing to do but wait. And hope.

Lena thought over those words as Angela rose and left the room. She had been sitting here for days tormented by what had happened and what was probably happening to Widowmaker because of it. It was guilt and responsibility on one hand tearing her down, but it was a far more self-centered pain as well. She didn't know whether it bothered her because it was selfish, or if just because it might not make sense. Was she allowed to feel loss for someone she had never had? Grief for something that had never begun?

Angela and Winston, to their credit, hadn't seemed to judge her. She was certain that they didn't understand her feelings - she herself didn't either - but at least they still cared. They were in fact going out of their way to make sure she was alright.

Maybe she owed them putting in her own bit of effort. What did Lena think she was doing lying around being useless? Widowmaker would think her so pathetic. Had they really fought themselves out of that mind-control panic just for Lena to give up? Perhaps she had needed some time to process what had happened, but she couldn't let herself drown in this forever.

Lena dragged herself up and to the bathroom to try and get ready for the day. Maybe she wouldn't be able to fix anything, but she had to live. It was time to remember that it was a luxury she had been returned. She wouldn't let what Widowmaker had done go to waste.

Even if there was nothing else she could do.

* * *

 

“Ready?” The door to the locker room opened, Angela poking her head in.

Indistinguishable syllables came from Lena’s mouth which was busy holding the strap of her goggles while she snapped her chronal accelerator into place.

Angela’s lips curled in amusement. “I'll take that as a yes.”

Finally, Lena grabbed the goggles and affixed them to the top of her head. “Sure is.” Lena flashed her a smile in return.

A tinge of concern crept onto Angela’s face as she leaned against the doorway. “Are you sure you're ready to start missions again? I know it's been a few weeks now, but things have been difficult and I don't want you to feel pressured into it. This is an easy job - we could delegate it to another agent.”

Lena shook her head. “No, I need this to get me back in the swing of things. You know me - been bored out of my skull. It's about time for me to kick myself into gear again.”

“Alright. I'll leave you to finish getting ready then.” With a fond look, the doctor went back out the door.

Pistols were the last things verified, Lena pulling one out of its holster to check the clips. Vaguely, she heard Angela’s low voice outside, accompanied by Winston’s. Clearly, they were trying not to be heard - no doubt another exchange of concerns for her. Lena held in a sigh. Their hearts were in the right places.

By the time she finished checking her second pistol, the voices had ceased. With a bit of privacy, Lena now sat herself down on the bench, taking a deep breath as she mentally walked herself through her impending mission. It should be simple, but she had only narrowly escaped being betrayed by her last job and she wasn't planning on being careless this time. If anything did go wrong though, well, at least she would be the only one taking the fall.

There was a knock on the door. “Lena?”

Lena looked up curiously at the sound of Winston outside, now addressing her. “Yeah?”

“Someone's here to see you.”

“Who?”

Lena waited for a response, only to be surprised by a tall figure walking in. Her heart nearly stopped as she jumped up from her seat.

“Widow,” she breathed, her voice nearly failing her. She could hardly believe her eyes. How was she here? Why? Had Talon hurt her? Had she changed? What was Lena going to have to come to terms with from here on out?

Widowmaker approached with a flat expression, making Lena’s heart pound. When she stopped just in front of Lena, the latter was hardly breathing anymore.

“You should not keep that up. I am not in the mood to save you from oxygen loss.”

A… joke? Widowmaker was joking. Lena let out a short, relieved laugh that was a bit louder than it should have been with all the nerves rushing out.

“Glad to see you still up my arse about my decisions.” Lena’s cheeks were a tad red knowing her worry was so obvious, but Widowmaker didn’t seem annoyed. Her face instead relaxed into a wryness Lena was well familiar with.

“Somebody needs to be.”

“Good thing you're around, then.” Lena took a breath, finally getting to the question that had been burning inside her for over a month. “So… what happened when you went back to Talon?”

Widowmaker shrugged. “Nothing intensive. I was gone those few weeks for Talon’s own tests that they wanted to run, but the reconditioning process was deemed unnecessary.” She quieted. “The results that Dr. Ziegler turned over had no transcript of the final examination. She provided a separate reason for the false positive that Talon somehow believed.”

Lena was stunned - Angela hadn’t breathed a word of that - but now it made sense why she had told Lena to keep what had happened to herself. She had no doubt still wanted to keep Lena away from Widowmaker, but she had also done her best to help them both.

“I had no idea.” Lena smiled. “Angie really is pretty good at saving lives, I guess.”

“I suppose I must give her that this time.” Widowmaker sobered, holding Lena’s gaze intensely. “Lena… even though we avoided a disaster, you know that still nothing can come of this. Talon would come for both of us if anything slipped out.”

Lena nodded solemnly. “I know.”

“And one day we will likely be enemies again.”

That hurt far more, but Lena managed to hide her wince. “Yeah. I know that too.”

“However… we work well together. I am willing to move past this and continue our partnership… if you are comfortable with that.” There was a hesitancy in Widowmaker’s eyes. She was worried that Lena would say no.

But how could she? Lena had wanted more than anything for Widowmaker to survive. To be alright. She couldn't deny that there was a part inside her that craved more, but if this was as far as she could ever get, if this was as much of Widowmaker as she could ever have… she wasn’t capable of giving it up.

“I’d like that.”

Widowmaker’s lips softened. Her face was disarmed for a moment, her gaze so open, so _human_ compared to how she had been what felt like so long ago now. Lena’s heart surged, her fingers longing to reach out to touch her.

And instead, Lena reached inside herself to crush that heart, smiling through the anguish filling her lungs. “I’d like that more than anything.” As much as it hurt, she meant it.

Widowmaker cleared her throat and straightened. “I could accompany you today, but officially we would start next week once I am entirely cleared for duty by both Talon and Overwatch.” Her words were smooth and professional now. “They were going to tell you but I thought you deserved to hear it from me first.”

Lena nodded, sensing the nervous energy between them turn into distance and forcing herself to follow that lead. “Appreciated.” She exhaled softly, steeling herself as she swallowed the rest of her emotion. She couldn't help wondering whether the same thoughts were echoed in Widowmaker’s head, but if so, they were now sealed forever behind those golden eyes. Widow merely extended her hand.

“Partners?”

There was one last twinge in Lena’s chest that she couldn't help as she looked down at the outstretched palm. But maybe it wouldn't always ache like this. Maybe one day she truly would move on and put this out of mind instead of just pretending. It was the best she could hope for because there was no other option. Lena wouldn't risk her by letting what was between them get out of control. Not ever again.

Her hand rose to meet Widow’s, offering a wistful smile as she looked back up. “Whatever it takes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it. Cards on the table: did I heavily lift this plot from a TV show? You bet your ass I did. I needed a vent after an episode and decided to cure pain with, uh, more pain, I guess. Something about unresolved feelings and forced confessions with consequences really gets the sado-masochist in me going. Well, time to go write something happy and meaningless! Thank you all for following along on this brief little journey. I hope it was worth your while.


End file.
